Libro de Invitados

Gracias por visitar el Libro de Invitados del Servicio de Crisis Para Mujeres. Los invitamos a leer los comentarios que han dejado otros invitados y a que dejen los suyos tambien. Todos los comentarios son leidos y apreciados. Si es que no respondemos a su comentario, por favor sepan que no es por falta de apreciación. Tal vez por alguna otra razon incluyendo y no limitando la seguridad y la confidencialidad de victimas y sobrevivientes.

Maria Luisa Castillo
El salvador, Santa Ana
Gracias por la valiosa informacion que he encontrado aqui, precisa y clara. De ayuda para lograr romper los circulos viciosos del abuso.

Date: Wednesday, May 7, 2008 ID-1

CARLOS
ARGENTINA
PENSABAMOS QUE ERAMOS UNA FAMILIA MUY UNIDA Y MUY BUENA, HASTA QUE EL AÑO PASADO NOS ENTERAMOS QUE MI CUÑADO (EL MARIDO DE MI HAERMANA MAYOR)ABUSO SEXUALMENTE DURANTE BASTANTE TIEMPO DE UNO DE MIS HIJOS Y DE LOS HIJOS DE MIS OTRAS DOS HERMANAS.
POR SUERTE MI HERMANA SE SEPARO DEL ABUSADOR AL ENTERARSE.
LOS CHICOS Y NOSOTROS ESTAMOS EN TRATAMIENTO PSICOLOGICO, Y ESTAMOS EMPEZANDO A SUPERARLO.
LO QUE NOS PREOCUPA ES QUE HACER CON EL ABUSADOR, YA QUE EL MISMO SIGUE LIBRE Y SE CORRE EL RIESGO DE QUE SIGA ABUSANDO DE OTROS MENORES.
NOS SENTIMOS RESPONSABLES POR ESTO Y NO SABEMOS QUE HACER.
AGRADECERIAMOS NOS COMENTEN QUE PIENSAN QUE SE PUEDE HACER.
GRACIAS
Date: Sunday, April 27, 2008 ID-2

anonymous
Here I am again. He showed up thursday. Sober - then I found another bottle. He's calm though. everything appears to be okay - but I'm still nervous. I read these notes here - and feel like I am not alone - Dear E - if you read this - know that you never deserve to be hurt (neither do I) no matter what comes out of your mouth. Before I got out - we spent 7 months homeless. We made it. We were helped by others - people I didn't even know. Miricales - remmeber to pay it forward as you take this journey. All of YOU. It takes all of us to survive and help others out. You can do it. You do not have to live with violence, threats, intimidation, verbal abuse. Just remember - don't engage. Ever. Make your plan and go. Even if yo leave everything behind. The absolute hardest part is the first step - everyone after that gets easier. M
Date: Monday, April 21, 2008 ID-3

´celeste
argentina
hola, mi nombre es celeste tengo 17 años y hace 1 año que estoy saliendo con una persona violenta. Al principio cuando lo conoci me parecio una persona muy simpatica y jamas pense que luego de 3 meses iba a pensar ha hummillarme todo el tiempo, llamandome puta, sacandome la ropa y dejandome desnuda en la calle. Se que deberia haber dejado hace tiempo pero aveces siento que lo mucho q lo amo me hace no poder dejarlo. Desde q estoy con el mi autoestima se ha ido al piso, no me duele tanto sus humillaciones sino que me diga que me ama y en el fondo es mentira. Ya no se que hacer lo amo muchisimo pero me hace sentir una basura.
por favor respondanme necesito escuchar las opiniones de otras mujeres que han pasado por lo mismo. Gracias por este espacio.
celeste de argentina
Date: Sunday, April 20, 2008 ID-4

Hola Celeste, entiendo que estás pasando por algo muy difícil. Sabemos que las personas abusivas al comenzar una relación son muy encantadoras. Desafortunada mente muchas de las veces las personas abusivas empeoran la violencia en ves de cambiar. Yo recomiendo que busques grupos de apoyo en la ciudad donde vives. Esto seria un gran paso para comenzar a comprender las razones porque los abusadores escogen abusar de una persona para tener poder y control sobre su victima. Quero que sepas que estamos aquí para apoyarte y que los puedes llamar a cualquier hora.

Gracias por comunicarte con nosotros.

MVWCS

Lady
Nottingham
I did it! I left after 14 months of abuse - being called a fat miserable boring useless mrs and a rubbish mum.
There was always an excuse but the point is there are none for hitting kicking grabbing scratching breaking throwing belittling controlling.
I stayed too long but was scared about her wrecking the house or killing me. Sometimes her face would almost be touching mine when she was threatening so ugly filled with hate she puckered mouth exuding spit and bitter disgust pouring into my home.
Don't waste another second. Its' OK in fact I am happy even though it's still so raw.
It says it all that my son cried for 2 hours solid last night because her cats will be going soon. And how long for her? Not a split second.
And get this- the day after she left I got promoted! Do it!
Go be happy right now call the Police if you need to. I did. I gave up trying to get her out myself. Always ended in bruises. Have some self respect sweetheart when someone keeps asking you to leave get the hint they might love you but they sure as anything don't want to be near you.
My friends literally saved my life. Now I intend to live it.
Be happy you deserve it and life's too short for anything else.
Lady xx

Date: Friday, April 18, 2008 ID-5

veronica
su informacion a sido de gran ayuda para mi vida muchas gracias.
Date: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 ID-6

Esperanza Gutiérrez
Ciudad de Mexico
El día de hoy encontré esta página que me resulta de gran ayuda. Si ustedes me autorizan, me gustaría reproducir algunas partes en un blog que planeo crear. La claridad con la que plantean las cosas es realmente muy útil y tranquilizante para mí ahora que estoy tratando de poner fin a una larga historia de abuso. Lo peor para mí es la culpa, pues sigo sintiendo que me merezco todo lo que ha pasado; y la gente -aún la más querida- sigue insinuando que yo lo provoqué. Por eso, comparto con ustedes una carta que le envié a mi amiga hace unos días. Escribirla me ayudó a encontrar valor para seguir adelante.

"Dearest O.:
I greatly appreciate your advice, and most of all, I am grateful for your love.
Our phone conversation and your latest letter have been extremely valuable, mainly because they help me think straight. Two matters in particular have been in my mind: I keep reacting to Carlos' provocations; and, I must think about getting my freedom back, and plan accordingly.
I could not agree more on the fact that I MUST change my own behaviour and responses towards Carlos. You are absolutely right! And that is precisely what I have been concentrating on for at least 4 years. I am the very one who has asked for help, I am the only one who has been, and is currently in therapy.
You say that going over to Carlos’ place was “asking for trouble” and that if you were Carlos, you would have been annoyed too. You also say that things escalated because both He and I were angry. But to be honest with you, I find your comment unfair for several reasons.
It sounds as if you were blaming me for what happened that day. If we were to follow your logics, my injuries would be the result of my own behaviour by provoking Carlos’ anger; and his, would only be a natural reaction. But please tell me, how am I responsible for his refusal to help me? How am I responsible for his choosing to lie to me? How am I responsible for his choosing to insult me and beat me up? How am I responsible for his violent behaviour towards me?
The wounds on my body were not self-inflicted. They were caused by a man who happens to be physically larger and stronger than me. That man is my husband and the father of my child. He is no stranger. The injuries were mostly done when I was about to get into my car, when I had turned my back to him in order to put on Adela’s seatbelt. I had been walking as fast as I could, but he kept following me closely, pushing my body with his.
You seem to understand this as a situation concerning two adults in equal conditions. But it is not. To start with, there are huge differences in size and strength; and also on chosen methods of confrontation. I used words. He used physical and emotional violence. Also, he has many more resources that I do. He is a powerful man with a great job. He makes US$XXXX a month, whereas I make none, despite the fact that I go to work every day. He has a supportive family, I don’t. He is a man in a country were women are structurally and personally discriminated against. I am Adela’s main care provider, and hence all my time and energy are put into looking after her. He has all his time for his job and himself. I do not have any time for myself and looking after Adela prevents me from working extra hours or taking up a second job.
When I learned I had 60 days to move out I really panicked because, at that time, it meant Adela and I would not have a roof to live under. At that moment, living with my mother was not an option because she had permanently refused to be supportive, and my so-called “friends” did not want to get involved. His lack of support in that respect also made it highly probable that he would stop giving any money at all. By refusing to solve the matter, he jeopardized essential survival conditions for his own daughter and wife. To me, that is morally unacceptable. Besides, even in this country, it is illegal and it is also considered a form a violence against women, which Adela and I are entitled to live free of. It seems to me that the aggression came from his side in the first place.
So, while I completely agree that it is my responsibility not to put myself or Adela in any risky situations, and that I MUST change my behaviour and responses towards Carlos, I do not believe that I am responsible for being battered and abused.
I take what you say with a lot of love and respect. I will give serious consideration to your advice, and I would love to continue having feedback from you. However, in this very particular matter we have two different stand points.
Lots of love,
E."
Date: Sunday, April 13, 2008 ID-7

jeni
chile
lamentablemente, no tengo a nadie a quien contarle mis penas, yo fui una victima, y sufro en silencio todo lo que me paso, aunque mi familia y mi esposo lo saben, cuando tengo miedo o pena, no puedo comentarselo a nadie, pues es un tema chocante, muchas veces he querido suicidarme, pero Dios y el amor grande que siento por mis seres queridos es más fuerte, sufro de depresion y me siento muy mal, no quise recibir tratamiento sicologico, pues me hace daño hablar del tema, si alguien lee esto, espero de corazon, que entreguen su vida a Dios, y no caigan en desesperación, como continuamente caigo yo...estoy dañada, y han pasado los años y me duele el corazon como si fuese ayer...
Pero lo que más me duele, es que mi marido...me hace sentir mal...y siento que aveces me desprecia por lo que me paso...y tengo mucha rabia pues no fue mi culpa...tristemente estabamos de novios cuando me sucedio.(espero que Dios lo ayude y me ayude a mi, a superarlo)
no se que mas decir, gracias por permitirme escribir y desahogarme en su página...
Date: Friday, April 11, 2008 ID-8

anonymous
Here is a really good book - Why Does He Do That? I can't remember the author - it covers everything - I've read many books on this subject - this is the one that made me see
Date: Tuesday, April 8, 2008 ID-9